i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
