There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
