arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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