My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
