guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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