Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
