I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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