chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's rum buckets o'clock
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
