She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
