Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
