dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im six kinds of drunk right now
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
