Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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