There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
