So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
