why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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