Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Couch. On fire.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
