He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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