yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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