I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
