i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
