I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
