If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
