found the other keg... it's in the tree
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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