I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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