After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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