bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I need to align my fucking chakras
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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