i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
