The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
