At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
