So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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