guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
