pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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