I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
