I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
