That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
