do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
