She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
