Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
