Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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