At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
