i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
