i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
