So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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