Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
