Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
