the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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