READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
