he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
