And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
