I wish I only lived at night.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
