Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
