happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
