wat bout pragnant strippers??
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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