just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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