Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
