I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
